By Trinady Moore, Youth Partner

Sometimes relationships can be unhealthy without people realizing it. This includes platonic friendships, familial relations, and other kinds of relationships. Almost everyone has been (or is currently in) an unhealthy, toxic relationship. Here are some ways to tell whether or not you’re in one.

Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship

The person is abusive.

Abuse isn’t always just physical. A person can be verbally, sexually, emotionally, and psychologically abusive. If your partner is purposefully finding ways to make you feel bad about yourself, that is not someone you should be around. If your partner is making you feel bad for refusing to do something, that is not a healthy relationship. These situations can make you feel less than or unworthy. That is not a healthy relationship. In a good relationship, each party should lift each other up and help the other grow as people.

There is an unequal balance of effort within the relationship.

In every relationship, each person has to put in effort. If someone is putting 80-90% into a relationship but the other person is only giving 10-20%, that is not the best relationship. If a person is always taking but never giving, that is not a good relationship. In healthy relationships, both parties contribute. One person giving too much is draining and unfair. Relationships should be equal. 

The person is not considerate of you.

While in the relationship, does your partner only talk about and worry about themselves? Do they always find a way to make every situation about them? That person could be considered self-centered. An article from Forbes says that a self-centered person is someone who is concerned only with themselves and is unlikely to compromise or consider the other person’s point of view. This person doesn’t seem to care and will always put themselves before you. However, there should be a balance where both parties consider each other in all aspects of the relationship.

When it comes to friendships and relationships, make sure to carefully examine them. Ask yourself whether or not the relationship energizes or drains you. If it is the latter, you may need to reexamine what’s happening with this person. What makes life great is sharing fun experiences with people who genuinely care about and consider you. A healthy relationship will not make you feel bad about yourself, make you feel less than, or make you feel overworked. Relationships can help you grow as a person and are beneficial for life. If needed, walk away from people who are not good for you and search for ones who will bring goodness and positivity into your life. It is never too late, and it will be worth it in the end. 

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